Note to Self

Dear intelligent, beautiful, Black Girl, you are at an amazing point in your life. Everyone around you believes in you, but I know you may not know exactly who you are right now, and you’re probably wondering if you’re cut out for this. I’m here to tell you that you are. I know you. I’ve been you. I am writing you this note because I want you to know exactly how beautiful, smart, and capable you are.

When I was ten years old, my mom forced me to do a tv interview on a Spanish TV Station. She ran a non-profit for girls and wanted to reach more Hispanic girls. She said she believed in me and she would let me do most of the speaking. I was incredibly nervous. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember wanting to please her so much that I worked hard preparing for the interview. After the interview, she told me I did a great job but asked why I kept looking at her. She said she wanted me to believe in myself as much as she believed in me. The truth is I didn’t believe in myself at all at that time. I don’t want YOU to experience that.

I had no idea that experience would shape my future. I knew that I liked telling stories and that I wanted to be a reporter, but I doubted myself every. single. day. I wondered if I’d ever be good enough. I knew that I looked different than my classmates and I did everything I could to assimilate. I wore the clothes they wore, the ugly braided leather belt that all the girls wore and I even tried to be cool by drinking the alcohol they drank. The only problem was none of that was me. I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. I had been in predominantly white or international schools my whole life and really needed to redirect and focus on what it meant to be a Black girl in today’s society.

Enter Howard University - The Howard University. I want you to enter Howard knowing just how great you are and being fully prepared to take on every wonderful opportunity that will come to you. You are here today and may be feeling like you have impostor syndrome and wondering if you’ll be able to achieve your dreams.

As I reflect back on my HU experience, I want you to know that not only are you capable, but you are exceptional. I remember one of my first professors saying to me after a presentation, “and by the way, your makeup is on point.” That seems like such a small thing, but for a third-culture girl like me hearing positive affirmations, ALL THE TIME was mind-blowing. I remember trying out for cheer at Howard and not know how to “double shake” because let’s face it: white cheer and Black cheer are just not the same. The day that I got it, the whole team screamed! This was all new to me. No matter what environment you’re coming from, Howard University will be that for you. Your classmates, professors, and administrators will “scream” for you. Howard University is a celebration of Black Excellence and this experience will shape and change your life. It will force you to go places and try things that will only confirm your Black girl magic. I am stronger now because I know my value, my brilliance, and my worth.

Your time in the classroom at Howard will truly be exceptional. You will be fortunate enough to have professors who will EXPECT the best from you. They will call you out if you fall short. They will praise you when you do well. They will always, always, always push you to be better, even when you think you’ve done your best. And they will send you so many opportunities for internships and fellowships because they are invested in YOU….meaningful fellowships and internships like: the Emma Bowen Fellowship, Spectrum News intern, A+E Networks Intern, CNN International Intern, the Pulitzer Fellowship, and special unique internships as well.

And if you’re fortunate enough to have a professor like Jennifer Thomas as your Senior Capstone Professor, you will grow so much that you won’t even recognize yourself when you’re done. Interviewing people will be second nature and telling their stories will bring you joy. You may secretly roll your eyes when she comes down on you, and think how dare she treat you like you are her child, but you will leave that class feeling inspired to do better, to always bring your best self, and to think big. You will realize the professors at Howard want the best for you and will work day after day into the wee hours of the morning to ensure that you are successful.

My past has taught me that it is okay to give myself permission to be great and to wake up every day knowing that I’m going to crush it today. Our collective past as Black people has taught me that our troubled past doesn’t have to be our future. I’ve learned to be unapologetic about who I am and how “on point” I show up.

Today, I feel most confident in MY Black Excellence. I know my history. I understand the social climate around me. I’m engaged in politics, and I’m using ALL of that to tell the stories of marginalized people in America. As I prepare to graduate as a Broadcast Journalism Major and Spanish Minor, I know my future is bright… But I also know that yours is bright. My greatest gift is the gift of communication. Howard University has given me that gift in so many ways and I can’t wait to use it as a young professional. My only challenge to you is not to waste time trying to assimilate. Switch up your hair. Rock your afro. Wear it straight if you’d like, or cut it all off. This is the time where you get to discover your uniqueness and prepare to change the world. Don’t disappoint your ancestors, and more importantly don’t disappoint yourself. You - beautiful, Black, intelligent girl - have got this. Trust me, release the fears, release the self-doubt and allow yourself to be great. I promise…you got this…